The Forgotten Skill of Forgiveness
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Acts 6:8-10 NIV
8 Now Stephen, a man full of God’s grace and power, performed great wonders and signs among the people. 9 Opposition arose, however, from members of the Synagogue of the Freedmen (as it was called)—Jews of Cyrene and Alexandria as well as the provinces of Cilicia and Asia—who began to argue with Stephen. 10 But they could not stand up against the wisdom the Spirit gave him as he spoke.Acts 7:54-60 NIV
54 When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. 55 But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 56 “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
57 At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, 58 dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.
59 While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love." - Martin Luther King Jr
Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.“Forgiveness forms the path to Freedom”
PHASE 1: SKILL DEVELOPMENT
Psalm 32:5 NIV
Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.Psalm 139:23-24 NLT
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting lifePHASE 2: PRACTICE WITH OTHERS
Mark 11:25 NIV
”And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”““Forgiveness, while free to the recipient, is always costly for the giver”
Matthew 18:21-22 NIV
21 ”Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.““But when you forgive, that means you absorb the loss and the debt. You bear it yourself” -Tim Keller
PHASE 3: PRACTICE IN PRIVATE
1 Corinthians 4:3-4 NIV
3 As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point. 4 My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide.“Forgiveness forms the path to Freedom”
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(00:19) get up get out your seat live out your Desy get out hi my name is Michelle and I serve here at Real Life Church as one of the pastors and I want to take a moment before we jump into the message just to say thank you first of all for engaging with this message we believe that this message is going to lift up your faith and lead you to encounter God through his word if you haven't already we would love for you to take a moment and subscribe to our YouTube channel this way you can stay engaged and upto-date
(00:49) on the latest messages and this helps us get the message of the Gospel out to others again thank you so much for joining us from Sacramento and Beyond and we trust you will be be blessed by this message today man well I'm so excited to be able to kick off this skills series uh with us today and uh if you're a sports junkie like me I'm a huge basketball fan and right now is the NBA Allstar Weekend uh last night actually happened to be the skills Challenge and over the years of me being a fan of basketball some
(01:24) things have changed in the game uh there's been an evolution to the skills that players have it's weird back in the day if you were in the dunk contest that means you had a lot of height you were a tall person if you were in the three-point shooting contest that meant you were probably a guard or someone smaller and now day in the NBA it's completely flipped we have short guys winning the dunk contest we have tall guys winning the Three-Point Contest and that just goes to show that skills can be developed skills can change over time
(01:55) what are the skills that you possess maybe you first think of the skills that you have in the workplace or the skills that you have as a parent or as a communicator each and every one of us has skills but yet there is a forgotten skill that I want us to highlight today now before we get to that skill I wanted to put together a list of the most annoying things to forget does anybody hate forgetting things who out there is that person that always forgets their keys it doesn't matter if you have an apple tag a tile the battery's always
(02:27) dead on it you are that person that your keys can be found anywhere and it's a responsibility of your friends and your family at all times to be like hey you left your keys there again you forgot your keys it's annoying what also is annoying is forgetting where you parked and you have to be humbled maybe you were at the theme park all day and you're walking by aisle 6 and and Isle 7B and you're just pressing the panic button just praying Lord please let that thing go off where did I parked you
(02:54) forget where you parked it can be annoying what I personally uh just find annoying forgetting his passwords you try to get on pg& E and SMUD and every single month you got to reset your password every single month you got man what was the password for that I can't remembered I can't get logged into that it could be annoying to forget your password maybe you're that person that you don't want to forget your phone but you always forget your phone now I know not anyone under the age of 25 would
(03:22) ever forget their phone but you know it's just I mean sorry no one yeah under the age of 25 would ever forget their phone because it's attached to them and they need it at all times times but for other of us we can relate that it's annoying to forget your phone when you leave the house I thought of another one and I know this is none of you because you guys are all set apart you are Sanctified and holy but it is terrible and annoying if you sit down before you forgot to check if there was toilet
(03:47) paper and I know that doesn't relate to you but we're going to keep it moving now it can be costly to forget something the stakes can be higher depending on the circumstance if we forget a spec a specific skill and so my hope today is that we will be reminded of a forgotten skill if you have your Bibles or you have the U U version app we're going to be in Acts chapter 6 starting in verse 8 and it says this now Stephen A Man full of God's grace and power I want you to pay attention to the descriptions of Stephen A Man full of
(04:19) God's grace and power performed great wonders and signs among the people opposition arose however from the members of the synagogue of the freed men as it was called Jews of sirene and Alexandria as well as the province of Sicilia and Asia who began to argue with Steven but they could not stand up against the wisdom the spirit gave him as he spoke I going take a pause there before we jump down to chapter 7 what's happening is Stephen is going to be the first martyr and he is operating with the gift of God the power of God and he
(04:53) got some haters along the way some people who were trying to argue with him and challenge him so what happens between Act chapter 6 and the end of Acts chapter 7 and Stephen go ahead and and he puts them all on notice and gives a one of the longest recorded written sermons we see in the Bible and he gives them a whole history of what God has done in the Israelites and he gives him a whole history and it comes to the culmination of him saying and you the Jewish religious leaders you are the ones that were stiff necked you are the
(05:22) ones that persecuted Christ you are the ones that are guilty of killing him and so when he says that now we understand verse 54 in Acts chapter 7 when the members of the Sanhedrin heard this they were Furious and they nashed their teeth at him but Steven full of the Holy Spirit looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God and Jesus standing at the right hand of God look he said I see Heaven open and the son of man standing at the right hand of God at this at this they covered their ears yelling at the top of their voices this is like a the
(05:57) Throne of temp temper tantrum seems like my toddler right now and they all rushed him dragged him out of the city and began to Stone him meanwhile the witnesses laid their coat uh coats at the feet of a young man named Saul we all know who that is verse 59 while they were stoning him Stephen prayed Lord Jesus receive my spirit then he fell on his knees and cried out Lord do not hold this sin against them when he had said this he fell asleep would you pray with me this morning Lord we thank you for your word we thank you that it is living and
(06:32) active and holy spirit we just pray right now that you would open our ears to hear our hearts to receive God that we would have soft and fertile soil in our souls today we want to learn we don't want to forget the skills that you have given us the skills that you have called us to possess so help us in Jesus name we pray amen the title of this message is the Forgotten skill of forgiveness now when when we hear that word forgiveness some of us our skin begins to crawl some of us begin to get a little bit uncomfortable because we
(07:07) don't want to forgive when people do us wrong or we think back to a memory of not only maybe someone did something to us but we did something to someone else and we are living with guilt the reality is we live in a society in in this world and not just in the world but in the church that we are ready to adopt cancel culture and we have forgotten what it is to forgive we've forgotten the skill that it takes to have right relationship to have a church that looks like heaven it takes the ability to forgive but
(07:39) often times we're ready to ex somebody out of the situation out of our Lives we have become slow to trust and quick to just swipe left on every situation going from relationship to relationship from job to job from church to church to new family members to new family members and we do not want to do the work to possess the skill of forgiveness I have seen siblings I have seen parents and their children completely stied all because of an argument and the family is fractioned and divided and people have to make a
(08:15) choice on Thanksgiving if they go over to this aunt's house or that uncle's house or if they sit at that table or if they call and check in with their father all because there's a lack of forgiveness because the skill set of forgiveness has been forgotten so today yes that means for all of us I want us to have an open heart and open mindset and ask the Lord even now holy spirit everyone would you just repeat after me say holy spirit Holy Spirit reveal to me reveal to any person or anything in my heart in that I
(08:50) am unwilling to forgive I am uning to for show me and help me show me and help amen amen we need the Holy Spirit to help us and my hope and prayer is that as we walk through this scripture that God will show you a person he'll remind you of a circumstance or situation where you have been harboring bitterness or malice towards a brother or sister or towards a family member and today God is going to remind us of the skill of forgiveness we have to activate this skill because our future depends on it Matthew 6:14-15 says this for if you
(09:25) forgive other people when they sin against you your heavenly father will also forgive you now 15 is where it hits hard but if you do not forgive others sins your father will not forgive your sins nothing like the word of God to Humble you so what is he saying it's simple if you forgive other people Your Father in heaven will forgive you if you choose because it is a choice to not forgive your brothers and sisters then our Father in heaven will not forgive us of our sins this is a big deal I'm grateful Pastor Dean gave me such a
(10:01) light topic today so we're going to look at the life of Stephen and learn from him to understand what is it that he possessed that allowed him to forgive those who were stoning him so who is Stephen well Stephen is one of the seven chosen to be a new leader in the church one of the new leaders emerging outside of the Apostles and the Bible records several times that he was a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit can I tell you if we're going to go further in developing the skill of forgiveness you got to have
(10:33) the Holy Spirit living inside of you it's impossible to forgive if you ain't got the holy spirit so he was filled with the Holy Spirit he was performing in fact he was the first person besides the apostles to perform miracles signs and wonders he was one that had the grace of God and he walked with the power of God he was the first martyr of the church and God would use his death to scatter scatter and multiply the early church Stephen when faced with opposition did not lean on his own intellect or his own
(11:08) wisdom or even his feelings but rather he responded with Heavenly wisdom he responded with what the spirit was telling him to say have has anyone ever been in an argument with someone you couldn't win the argument man these these these leaders these religious people they were getting more and more upset they're trying to argue with him and the Bible's like yeah no Stephen wasn't having it they couldn't they couldn't win they couldn't argue with him in a way to win not because of his
(11:37) own intellect not because of his own gifting because he was simply saying what the spirit of God was telling him to say because he was simply operating with the wisdom of God not what he felt not his own feelings he wasn't getting in the flesh he was just simply saying this is what the spirit of God is saying now why is this important it's because it's setting up some context for us to how Steven was able to endure the difficult thing that he had to uh endure which was the persecution and the killing of him by stoning him to death
(12:10) he was filled with the spirit what is filling you and I today what are you filled with are you filled with anger and bitterness are you filled with distrust are you filled with anxiety or always looking at a new person that comes into your life a relationship as some I don't know if I can trust that person because of what happened to me in the past or are you filled with the spirit of the Living God because it can so easily happen that bad things difficult things I'm not diminishing terrible things happen to us but is that
(12:47) the thing that's filling your tank I remember as a Young Man dealing with the fact that my father was not in the home I was filled with anger and Malice and rage and it was actually the thing that I fueled my life on and it wasn't until I got filled with the holy spirit that I could release that and I could actually forgive my father but it wasn't on My Own Strength my own intellect it was simply the fact that I was saying I'm no longer going to be filled with all this rage all this malice towards somebody
(13:20) but I'm going to choose to forgive by being filled with the holy spirit so Stephen's response to being wronged and be falsely accused is to look up look to your neighbor and say look up look up see often what happens when we have someone that hurts us we hyper fixate on that person or that thing I can't believe they did this and we call up our friends and we telling them you want to believe so and so did this and this and this today and let me tell you about what my boss said to me or what my co-worker
(13:50) said or man this is what my husband said when we was doing it and we just want to go tell every single body about all the things that happened but can I tell you the most important thing you can do when you are facing a grievance with somebody else is to look up not look at them but to look up Stephen's eyes as he is by himself surrounded by people who want nothing but ill intent for his life was to look up and when he decides to look up and not look at the situation he sees a different reality he doesn't see
(14:26) people trying to harm him what he sees is he sees God in heaven in his throne room he sees Jesus standing at the right hand of the father when you think about the things that have happened to you or against you and the areas where you have not forgiven what are you looking at today how many nights are you going to continue to lay lay in bed and dwell on that thing and think back to that hurt and that pain that it caused when are you going to look up to where your help comes from your help's not going to come from looking at
(14:58) that person over and over again well they did this they did this no your help comes when you and I make the decision to look up and let me just say this what we choose to focus on will become Our God and we will be guilty of idolatry you and I can make an idol out of anything including an offense we can make an idol out of an offense and what we're saying is God you're not big enough God you're not Mighty enough God your love is not all surpassing no this hurt this this pain that's what I'll
(15:28) worship at today that's what I'll fix my eyes on today that's what I'll fix my Gaze on today I know this is a really light stuff isn't it help us Lord so what is an idol for you and I an idol is anything more important to you than God including Revenge including wanting to see them punished it's anything more important to us than God anything that absorbs your heart and Imagination more than God anything you seek to give give you what God can give you a counterfeit God is anything so Central
(16:05) and essential to your life that should you lose it your life would feel hardly worth living we can make idols and counterfeit Gods out of an offense in our hearts out of a pain out of a trauma that took place when we were a child now please hear me in a room this size I know there are stories of pain of hardship of things that we would never want to have to talk about see about or that should have never happened to anyone but yet there is a skill of forgiveness that we must possess because Matthew says if you and I cannot learn
(16:43) to forgive then we will not be forgiven so we're looking at Stephen because he didn't just have someone lie on his name or tell him he you know made fun of him when he was a kid no Stephen is having people throw stones to kill him and yet he was able to possess something possess the ability to look up and see God and be able to forgive those who are actively literally killing him what a miracle that is I mean it's easy to just read it in the Bible and just be like oh okay but there are literal Stones flying
(17:21) at him I actually have a a little Stone right here can you help me with that Pastor Jesse so I have this Stone here and you're wondering why it's painted it's because this was my birthday present from my boys they they painted me a little Stone everyone can say a I'm going to turn this illustration to not being so awe but when they would go to Stone somebody to kill someone they were very strategic about the size of the stone that they would choose this is a perfect size Stone actually it's about the size of a
(17:50) fist the reason they would choose the specific stone is because if the stone is too big when they throw it at you it'll kill you too quickly and won't cause enough pain if the stone is too small it might just cause some bumps and scrapes and bruises but it won't actually do their intent which is to kill you so what do you and I do when Stones start flying I can tell you what my instinct is if you throw this stone at me what am I gonna do someone just said it I'm gonna pick it up and I'm gonna be right back to Little
(18:20) League baseball and be like okay and I'm going to throw it but that's not what Stephen decides to do what is your response when you see a crowd amassing when the enemy is surrounding you with accusation after accusation after accusation and he is reminding you of the thought of the thought of the thought of what took place and you see Stones rise up against you what is your response Stephen wasn't even tripping on what they were doing he was looking at his God his eyes were fixed on God his heart every fiber of his being I don't
(19:01) know how he didn't I I just don't even it's just such a miracle that he was able to do this when this was being hurled at him but yet he was so I want to ask you this question today is there a stone in your hands when you think about a specific person a specific situation have you been filling your pockets with stones for years now just waiting for that moment in time where you can get them back and whenever that thought comes or you run into them or you see them at the family barbecue or you saw them at the
(19:33) store all of a sudden you you notice that stone is back in your hand well Jesus in John 8 tells tells us what He Who is out sin go ahead and cast the first stone and they dropped them and so for you and I today part of the skill of forgiveness is realizing we have to drop the stones that we're possessing because we cannot expect the stones in God step in and intervene and forgive us if we will not drop the stones that we are trying to hurl at other people we have to be able to forgive them so Stephen decides that he is going to pray
(20:13) to God as his first response to the stones being thrown at him he is more concerned that God would receive his Spirit than a stone piercing his skull when you and I truly have our Gaze on Christ we are no longer concerned with who wronged us we only see the beauty and Majesty of the king when we are truly fixated on Christ we don't care about who wronged us or what they did let that sink in because the first thing we say no but Pastor you don't know what they did to me I don't but God does and yet still he's greater than that thing
(20:55) right amen when you truly have your eyes fixed ated on him even that thing yes that big horrible deplorable thing that took place even that thing becomes irrelevant because there is nothing greater than his glory and His Majesty there is nothing greater than having a glimpse and seeing him for who he is you will not care what stones are throwing at you you are looking and you are in the presence of your God so how how do we do this Stephen went to prayer immediately he went to prayer and it says this that after he prayed not only for God to
(21:40) receive his Spirit then he uses his last breath can you believe this he had the audacity to use his last breath to ask God to forgive them if I had one last breath this is my flesh talking come on we' have some stuff to say to that person Lord I got one last in me I'm going to let them I'm going to tell them about themselves but he says with my last dying breath his last dying breath didn't even go to God he first goes to God and says Lord would you receive my spirit but his last breath the last
(22:15) thing that he can give to that world is saying Lord forgive them for the sin that they are doing right now man this is incredible that he was able to say God as they're killing me forgive them I don't know about you but I want to have the level of faith I want to have the level of Grace on my life I want to have the ability that despite if they're lying on me despite of their saying this about me to my face that God I will not pray against people but I will pray for people that God I will say Lord forgive
(22:45) them for they know not what they're doing right now Hallelujah that is what it is to have a skill set of forgiveness he chose not to curse as a young young people say you know Pastor Jasmine was up here I got to throw it out there to show my age he chose not to curse the Ops he didn't want to curse no Ops he was praying for his Ops and all the genz people will hopefully appreciate that and I can move on appreciate it thank you brother but instead he's playing for their forgiveness that's not common that's not
(23:19) normal that's not what's natural to us it's only a product of a supernatural skill called forgiveness that is only accessible if you have the Holy Spirit presiding inside of you Martin Luther King Jr said this when talked or asked about forgiveness he said we must develop and maintain everyone say develop Dev it's a skill we have to develop and maintain the capacity to forgive he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love well if God has called us to love we can't do that if we don't
(23:54) have the power to First forgive I would like to say it this this way forgiveness forms the path to Freedom forgiveness forms the path to Freedom when you and I make a decision to not forgive we are choosing the life of a slave we are choosing to be in bondage we are choosing to say that that person and that offense and what they did is now our master and we will serve it all the days of our life but forgiveness gives us a path forward to having true Freedom I'm still praying the holy spirit's reminding you now of
(24:32) who or what you need to forgive so if you and I are going to be good at a specific skill set just like any skill set whether it's dribbling a ball or whatever it is there are certain phases we have to go through so I'm going to go through these pretty quick uh but phase one is you have to learn skill development we first must learn the skill of forgiveness by understanding our need for forgiveness in the first place so before we can get to forgiving others we need to develop this skill now I know uh this could be
(25:04) hard for some of y'all but last Sunday there was very clearly a team that developed skill sets more than the other and I'm glad I was just on The Winning Side aren't you it's a little quiet I don't see any jerseys in here Taylor where they all at oh that's the right kind of Jersey right there forgive me we're talking about forgiveness you can't be upset my team won and God wanted it that way I don't know what to tell you okay here we go phase one skill development before we can forgive others
(25:33) before we can have the skill set to say you know what my brother my sister my spouse my mom my dad I can forgive you we first have to have a realization and I believe we need to as the church come back to this because I've seen a slip away from it do you know that you and I are sinners and that on our greatest day it's like filthy rags that we bring to God and that you and I need the Forgiveness of God and I'm not talking about the one-time forgiveness that comes at Salvation I'm talking like the
(25:58) forgiveness from two days ago the forgiveness for what you thought this morning the forgiveness for you not having patience with with an individual or not having compassion the patient or the Forgiveness needed just to operate on a dayto day we have to get back to the place of just basic fundamental skill development that we need to be asking God for forgiveness for sins of omission sins of commission we need to be going to God and saying Lord I need you to forgive me for that for sinning against you for sinning against a
(26:28) brother or sister we cannot talk here today about forgiveness and presume that we're just all the victims of someone else harming us but we must first start and say no I'm the guilty one God before I look at anybody else as the one that has victimize me I'm going to say no what no actually I'm guilty for a whole list of things God you know them but thank God for your forgiveness you have casted them as far as the East is from the West you remember them no more because of your goodness so in the skill
(26:58) development process if you want to be good at forgiving other people you first have to start going to God and saying Lord let's practice this I need you to forgive me for this it's a muscle it's a skill that can be developed no friends like I said we are the guilty ones we are the ones that had no way to atone of our sin but praise God Jesus came and he paid that price and now we are forgiven and he is faithful and just now we forgive other people Psalm 32:5 says this then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not
(27:34) cover up my iniquity I said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin if you want to develop forgiveness in your life allow the Lord to walk you through all the things that he has forgiven you in your life allow him to show him just as the psalmist says sayl I confessed it all to you I confessed it I I I did not cover up my iniquity I did not pretend that you couldn't see my nakedness or my shame but instead I said Lord here it is here's all of me and he was faithful to
(28:11) forgive Psalm 13922 through2 24 the NLT version says this search me oh God some dangerous words right there and know my heart test me and know my anxious thoughts point out anything everyone say anything anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life woo that's a dangerous prayer search me and point out to me God that is someone who is devoted to wanting to have the skill of forgiveness that is someone who wants to be in right standing with God not trying to duck God from the things
(28:49) that they've done or said but going right to God running boldly to the throne room of Grace when we have a broken and contrite heart it's like having a good coach that we can trust to say hey you know what you need to switch up your form a little bit right here you need to move your feet you need to Pivot your hips it they're able to coach us and show us what it is to receive forgiveness intimacy with God is like a forgiveness practice session the closer you are to him the more you're practicing forgiveness because he is a
(29:22) holy God and the Holy Spirit Will convict us of the things in our lives and the reason why it's important we start with skill development with God is because the human nature if we keep on sinning and we keep on doing something eventually your receptors of your spirit will grow numb come on you can already think of what that thing is you've done it so many times and the first dozen you knew it was bad and you felt conviction but because there wasn't repentance because there wasn't saying God broken
(30:00) and contrite here I am would you forgive me you began to get numb to doing it to where now you can do it and you feel nothing and now you're a person walking around with the Forgotten skill and you won't know how to forgive anybody because you haven't truly received it for yourself intimacy with God changes that getting close Stephen was filled with the Holy Spirit the power of God the grace of God the faith of God because of proximity to God forgiveness is not a one-time posture it's something we have to regularly do
(30:33) we have to regularly pray God search me God show me even the things that we don't know we did he will show us hey you know what you didn't handle that the best way you should go ask for forgiveness what yes you should go ask for forgiveness if we go through the skill development the second phase that we get to is the phase two practicing with others if you've ever been on a sports team you know practic ractice is not by yourself you go to practice with your team we need to practice forgiveness with one another practicing with others
(31:06) is a clear way to improve our skills in a specific Arena forgiving other people does more for us than it will do for them and that's why we must practice it with people because when we stay up at night not being able to forgive someone for what they did they're sleeping they rolling over in bed snoring they having a good old time because they don't even know sometimes that they offended us and yet we're harping on it and we're all stirred up and they're they don't even know it's not affecting their day at
(31:34) all and so we have to practice forgiveness with one another has God showed you already in your mind who you need to forgive I'm just praying for it you might have someone who hurt you and it was like level 10 hurt and they have no clue and that can make you even more upset and mad but the reality is we need need to practice forgiveness with one another Mark 11:25 and when you stand praying if you hold anything against anyone forgive them so that your father in Heaven May forgive you your sins see God instituted this that we cannot get
(32:13) around forgiving people he's saiding hey look if you want to come and pray to me and talk with me uh before you start praying to me do you need to go forgive somebody is there someone that I've been reminding you of is there a situation I've been kind of prodding you and poking you in saying hey you need to reconcile that situation God tells us that we should go and do so in fact in the Bible God would even tell us before you try to bring me an offering you better go and reconcile with your brother or sister go ahead and set it
(32:41) down go to the other side of the can you imagine we did that today before we prayed for the offering it's biblical you get up you go over here and you're like you know what sister before I give to God I just need to apologize I've held a I've held uh I've had a qualm that I've held against you I've had a grudge against you I've held bitterness against you would you forgive me that's powerful that's how the church is supposed to be because we're all people and we all get
(33:06) offended and so we need to practice our forgiveness uh forgiveness hear me while it is free for the recipient will always be costly to The Giver you got to have a big bank if you're gonna forgive a lot of people how do you get access to that God forgiveness is always free to the person you are forgiving but M does it cost us a lot it cost us humility it can it can cost us to have to lay down our pride and our ego it can cost us a lot of emotional uh things that we have to work through it is not free and you can't fake forgiveness you
(33:45) I forgave him are you sure because every time you talk about that person you you start shaking and your face looks so mean like you sure you forg oh yeah I'm forgiven them Pastor they're forgiven okay do they feel this hostile as I feel I'm not even that person and I feel attacked you can't fake forgiveness you can't fake it it has to be from a genuine place it has to be you saying I'm paying the price Matthew 18:21 then Peter came to Jesus and asked Lord how many times shall I forgive my
(34:20) brother or sister cuz see some of y'all are like Peter and I can say that because I'm like Peter like all right God I'm going to forgive him once but how many times what if they do again well he says if they sin against me this many times how many Jesus says up to or Peter says up to seven times Jesus answered I tell you not seven times but 77 times essentially Jesus is saying an endless amount of times Peter you're going to have to forgive that person well well God it's the 18th time they did this then it's going to be the
(34:49) 19th time you forgive them because we try to reason it in our mind and we try to justify and say well this just must be you know they've just done it so many times now I'm not saying if someone stole from your wallet 18 times you should keep leaving your wallet out on the counter when they're there go tuck that thing in your back pocket and and praise God but we have to be able to continually forgive our brothers and sisters it is not a one-time thing but is a cyclical thing for you and I Tim Keller says this but
(35:22) when you forgive that means you absorb the loss and the thatb and you bear it yourself these are not things we want to hear but this is the skill set of forgiveness the worship team you guys can please come it is going to cost us to absorb the debt that takes a great sense of maturity that takes a great sensitivity to the spirit of God you know as I Was preparing for this message I asked uh someone asked this question I think it's a great question that we're all going to ask ourselves can we be angry with
(35:55) someone while also being forgiving towards them cuz I know we would like to can we be angry at somebody angry at what they did while also saying but God I am forgiving towards them now I'm not going to give you my answer to that I'm just going to give two examples in the Bible and you can deduce this for yourself do you believe that Stephen was angry with the men stoning him while he prayed Lord do not hold this sin against him or how about Jesus when he's on the cross after he's been mocked brutally
(36:37) beaten crucified was he angry on the cross when he said father forgive them for they know not what they are doing so can you and I have anger towards somebody and I'm not talking about when we're talking about forgiveness we're not saying like oh they they they walk by me and didn't say hi like that's just surface level y'all we got to grow up we're talking about an actual grievance something that actually caused harm to us we have to be able to say I'm going to choose to take the loss
(37:14) and absorb the debt so that reconciliation and forgiveness can take place I mean no one wants to be Steven and to be the one that got stoned to death but yet we read about Stephen and we admire him Stephen wasn't concerned about people of this world he was more fixated on God his eyes were there phase three the Final Phase cuz see often times we can get through the first two we can learn and understand that we have a deep desire for the need of forgiveness from God we can practice forgiveness with one another but yet there is a third phase
(37:51) which is to practice in private I remember my my coach would always tell me he would say James normal average players practice when other people practice but if you want to be great you got to practice in private so as soon as our basketball team practice within my practice would begin and practicing in private is simply this because we'll forgive other people we'll say God I need forgiveness but then we'll keep condemning ourselves and won't forgive ourselves there are some of it you in here today you have not forgiven
(38:23) yourself though the other people in the situation have forgiven you God's word is true that he has forgiven you yet you are still walking around with guilt and shame and you will not forgive yourself Paul in 1 Corinthians 4 3-5 he says as for me it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority that includes us to ourselves I don't even trust my own judgment on this point my conscience is clear but that doesn't prove I'm right this is gold how many times do we feel like well
(39:04) my conscious is clear and we think that means we're right he says no no no that does not mean I'm right it is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide practicing in private means you practice forgiving yourself as Christ has forgiven you no longer do you need to carry shame and guilt the enemy remember he's the accuser of the brethren he wants you to feel condemned he will lead you to Temptation and then he will put it on blast and condemn you but Roman 8 tells us that there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in
(39:38) Christ Jesus and because you belong to him the power of the lifegiving spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death no longer do you need to live your life condemned practice in private receive the Forgiveness of God so lastly today my prayer has been that God would stir our hearts that we would be men and women humbled and broken before God and that we would yet choose forgiveness I was going to end with an inspiring story of forgiveness and I thought there's nothing greater than just the word of God showing us an act
(40:18) of forgiveness as Stephen is being stoned to death I'll leave you with this we do not know what Stephen let me say it this way I didn't read it to you acts 6:15 it says that as they were coming against Stephen and they looked at him his face was that of an angel that shows to it's not just that we forgive but it's how we go about the process of forgiving what do your face look like today what's your face look like when you see that person but what really stood out and what was fascinating was Acts 7:56 when he says
(40:53) as he's looking up to heaven he says look I see Heaven open and the son of man standing at the right hand of God now if you studied your Bible for any point in time you will know that after Jesus ascended to Heaven There is one place we hear about Jesus all the time and that is to the right hand of the father but he is never standing what is he doing he's sitting account after account after account when it talks about Jesus in the throne room of God he is sitting at the right hand of the father but yet in this
(41:22) act of Steven surrender in this act of miraculous forgiveness it is something that caused Jesus himself to stand up as if he was looking at Stephen and saying I see you son I see your level of forgiveness I see your level of Grace for other people that though they are harming you you don't care you're just looking at me though you are being battered though the rocks are coming you are choosing to forgive even the worst of accusers Jesus stands looking at him and I can only be jealous and say Lord I want you to stand and
(41:56) look at me and look at the way that I will forgive people and be pleased with the way I respond not choosing malice or hate but choosing to say father even if it's my last dying breath would you forgive them for what they have done that is a forgotten skill of forgiveness so there's some next steps for each and every one of us here I'd ask if you would all stand with me today maybe you're here and the first step before you can go any further is simply this you need to receive God as your lord and savior receive
(42:32) salvation today and understand that God is forgiving you of your sins he's forgiving you of the things that you have done he's forgiving you no matter how Wicked no matter how wrong it can be we all have something we've all fallen short of the glory of God and yet he offers forgiveness so I'm going to do this with your eyes wide open you can look around if you want if you're here to today and you you need to receive the Forgiveness of God by placing Your Faith and Hope in Jesus Christ would you just slip up your hand
(43:03) so I can pray for you amen thank you for that thank you hands going up all over anyone else want to join these that says I need to receive the Forgiveness of God for my sins I won't take much longer on this amen okay this is what we're going to do here at Real Life Church we pray the Salvation prayer together as a family we're going to have it on the screen for you when you're praying this prayer I want you to understand it's not about these words being magical it's about what is happening in your heart this is
(43:32) just putting language to what God is doing and stirring in your heart can we read this church family together this salvation prayer Jesus I believe you are the Son of God that you died on the cross to rescue me from my sin and death and to restore me to the father I choose Now to turn from my sins my self-centeredness and every part of my life that does not please you I choose choose you I give myself to you I receive your forgiveness and ask you to take your rightful place in my life as My Savior and Lord restore me live in me
(44:08) and through me in Jesus name I pray amen amen come on can we give it up for those who place their faith in Jesus if that was you today and you raised your hand we have a packet here I have decided packet we have a team of visioners who are in the back uh they want to pray for you they want to hear about what God is doing in your life we have a gift that we want to place in your hand this is the greatest decision you could have made to place your faith in Jesus Christ and to receive the Forgiveness of God today two more people
(44:41) that we're going to pray for and if our altar workers can come we're just going to dismiss it'll be a soft dismissal and if you need prayer you can come to the front there's two more steps step number two is you need to release someone today you need to forgive somebody today and release them from the grip that you've had you need to throw your stone down and not be dwelling or thinking about when you can get that revenge or number three you're here because you need to accept the Forgiveness that God has already offered
(45:11) you that others have already offered you but you've been struggling to truly believe that you are forgiven so if you're either one of those people in just a moment I'm going to pray for us and then we're just going to release you can come to the front our prayer team would love to pray pray for you I know we've gone a little bit long here but I believe that God is doing such a great work so if you need prayer because you need help forgiving somebody that has harmed you whether it be a level 10 or a level two it doesn't
(45:39) matter or if you're here today and say man I've been forgiven I've been forgiven by God I've been forgiven by others but I I can't seem to forgive myself I want you to come so our team can pray for you Lord we thank you for this day we thank you for the great work that you are doing in our lives we thank you for Steven's life Lord that he did not choose to retaliate with violence that he did not choose to to run to throw a stone back but he just chose to look up and to see you father I pray for
(46:06) everyone under the sound of my voice that you would help us when we're hurt when we've been harmed when we've been offended when wrong has been done to us God make us quick to be forgivers help us Lord to be quick to reconcile help us Lord to see or to be like what Paul says to be at peace with all people to the best of our ability God we want you to be pleased with our actions and our thoughts so help us we pray we honor you and we love you and we thank you for the gift and for the skill of forgiveness in Jesus
(46:38) mighty name amen amen amen hey I want to take a moment again and say thank you for joining us real life Church's mission is to engage real life Embrace real people and encounter the real God and we want you to know that you are a part of that mission we also want to make sure that you know about the best way to keep in the know about all things real life church and that is through the church Center app through this app you can give check out groups and look at our events and even update your profile information we'd love to take a moment
(47:09) and thank all of our generous givers through your gift we are able to make a difference for God's Kingdom in our community and Beyond there are a couple different ways that you can give virtually through our church Center app via our website rlc.com or you can text give and the amount to 843 321 don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can stay up toate and encouraged with the latest message we'd also love to connect with you on our other social media channels where we share RLC life see you next
(47:45) time
(3) The Forgotten Skill of Forgiveness | Skills | Pastor James Alexander - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XHtXalLGHs
Transcript:
(00:19) get up get out your seat live out your Desy get out hi my name is Michelle and I serve here at Real Life Church as one of the pastors and I want to take a moment before we jump into the message just to say thank you first of all for engaging with this message we believe that this message is going to lift up your faith and lead you to encounter God through his word if you haven't already we would love for you to take a moment and subscribe to our YouTube channel this way you can stay engaged and upto-date
(00:49) on the latest messages and this helps us get the message of the Gospel out to others again thank you so much for joining us from Sacramento and Beyond and we trust you will be be blessed by this message today man well I'm so excited to be able to kick off this skills series uh with us today and uh if you're a sports junkie like me I'm a huge basketball fan and right now is the NBA Allstar Weekend uh last night actually happened to be the skills Challenge and over the years of me being a fan of basketball some
(01:24) things have changed in the game uh there's been an evolution to the skills that players have it's weird back in the day if you were in the dunk contest that means you had a lot of height you were a tall person if you were in the three-point shooting contest that meant you were probably a guard or someone smaller and now day in the NBA it's completely flipped we have short guys winning the dunk contest we have tall guys winning the Three-Point Contest and that just goes to show that skills can be developed skills can change over time
(01:55) what are the skills that you possess maybe you first think of the skills that you have in the workplace or the skills that you have as a parent or as a communicator each and every one of us has skills but yet there is a forgotten skill that I want us to highlight today now before we get to that skill I wanted to put together a list of the most annoying things to forget does anybody hate forgetting things who out there is that person that always forgets their keys it doesn't matter if you have an apple tag a tile the battery's always
(02:27) dead on it you are that person that your keys can be found anywhere and it's a responsibility of your friends and your family at all times to be like hey you left your keys there again you forgot your keys it's annoying what also is annoying is forgetting where you parked and you have to be humbled maybe you were at the theme park all day and you're walking by aisle 6 and and Isle 7B and you're just pressing the panic button just praying Lord please let that thing go off where did I parked you
(02:54) forget where you parked it can be annoying what I personally uh just find annoying forgetting his passwords you try to get on pg& E and SMUD and every single month you got to reset your password every single month you got man what was the password for that I can't remembered I can't get logged into that it could be annoying to forget your password maybe you're that person that you don't want to forget your phone but you always forget your phone now I know not anyone under the age of 25 would
(03:22) ever forget their phone but you know it's just I mean sorry no one yeah under the age of 25 would ever forget their phone because it's attached to them and they need it at all times times but for other of us we can relate that it's annoying to forget your phone when you leave the house I thought of another one and I know this is none of you because you guys are all set apart you are Sanctified and holy but it is terrible and annoying if you sit down before you forgot to check if there was toilet
(03:47) paper and I know that doesn't relate to you but we're going to keep it moving now it can be costly to forget something the stakes can be higher depending on the circumstance if we forget a spec a specific skill and so my hope today is that we will be reminded of a forgotten skill if you have your Bibles or you have the U U version app we're going to be in Acts chapter 6 starting in verse 8 and it says this now Stephen A Man full of God's grace and power I want you to pay attention to the descriptions of Stephen A Man full of
(04:19) God's grace and power performed great wonders and signs among the people opposition arose however from the members of the synagogue of the freed men as it was called Jews of sirene and Alexandria as well as the province of Sicilia and Asia who began to argue with Steven but they could not stand up against the wisdom the spirit gave him as he spoke I going take a pause there before we jump down to chapter 7 what's happening is Stephen is going to be the first martyr and he is operating with the gift of God the power of God and he
(04:53) got some haters along the way some people who were trying to argue with him and challenge him so what happens between Act chapter 6 and the end of Acts chapter 7 and Stephen go ahead and and he puts them all on notice and gives a one of the longest recorded written sermons we see in the Bible and he gives them a whole history of what God has done in the Israelites and he gives him a whole history and it comes to the culmination of him saying and you the Jewish religious leaders you are the ones that were stiff necked you are the
(05:22) ones that persecuted Christ you are the ones that are guilty of killing him and so when he says that now we understand verse 54 in Acts chapter 7 when the members of the Sanhedrin heard this they were Furious and they nashed their teeth at him but Steven full of the Holy Spirit looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God and Jesus standing at the right hand of God look he said I see Heaven open and the son of man standing at the right hand of God at this at this they covered their ears yelling at the top of their voices this is like a the
(05:57) Throne of temp temper tantrum seems like my toddler right now and they all rushed him dragged him out of the city and began to Stone him meanwhile the witnesses laid their coat uh coats at the feet of a young man named Saul we all know who that is verse 59 while they were stoning him Stephen prayed Lord Jesus receive my spirit then he fell on his knees and cried out Lord do not hold this sin against them when he had said this he fell asleep would you pray with me this morning Lord we thank you for your word we thank you that it is living and
(06:32) active and holy spirit we just pray right now that you would open our ears to hear our hearts to receive God that we would have soft and fertile soil in our souls today we want to learn we don't want to forget the skills that you have given us the skills that you have called us to possess so help us in Jesus name we pray amen the title of this message is the Forgotten skill of forgiveness now when when we hear that word forgiveness some of us our skin begins to crawl some of us begin to get a little bit uncomfortable because we
(07:07) don't want to forgive when people do us wrong or we think back to a memory of not only maybe someone did something to us but we did something to someone else and we are living with guilt the reality is we live in a society in in this world and not just in the world but in the church that we are ready to adopt cancel culture and we have forgotten what it is to forgive we've forgotten the skill that it takes to have right relationship to have a church that looks like heaven it takes the ability to forgive but
(07:39) often times we're ready to ex somebody out of the situation out of our Lives we have become slow to trust and quick to just swipe left on every situation going from relationship to relationship from job to job from church to church to new family members to new family members and we do not want to do the work to possess the skill of forgiveness I have seen siblings I have seen parents and their children completely stied all because of an argument and the family is fractioned and divided and people have to make a
(08:15) choice on Thanksgiving if they go over to this aunt's house or that uncle's house or if they sit at that table or if they call and check in with their father all because there's a lack of forgiveness because the skill set of forgiveness has been forgotten so today yes that means for all of us I want us to have an open heart and open mindset and ask the Lord even now holy spirit everyone would you just repeat after me say holy spirit Holy Spirit reveal to me reveal to any person or anything in my heart in that I
(08:50) am unwilling to forgive I am uning to for show me and help me show me and help amen amen we need the Holy Spirit to help us and my hope and prayer is that as we walk through this scripture that God will show you a person he'll remind you of a circumstance or situation where you have been harboring bitterness or malice towards a brother or sister or towards a family member and today God is going to remind us of the skill of forgiveness we have to activate this skill because our future depends on it Matthew 6:14-15 says this for if you
(09:25) forgive other people when they sin against you your heavenly father will also forgive you now 15 is where it hits hard but if you do not forgive others sins your father will not forgive your sins nothing like the word of God to Humble you so what is he saying it's simple if you forgive other people Your Father in heaven will forgive you if you choose because it is a choice to not forgive your brothers and sisters then our Father in heaven will not forgive us of our sins this is a big deal I'm grateful Pastor Dean gave me such a
(10:01) light topic today so we're going to look at the life of Stephen and learn from him to understand what is it that he possessed that allowed him to forgive those who were stoning him so who is Stephen well Stephen is one of the seven chosen to be a new leader in the church one of the new leaders emerging outside of the Apostles and the Bible records several times that he was a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit can I tell you if we're going to go further in developing the skill of forgiveness you got to have
(10:33) the Holy Spirit living inside of you it's impossible to forgive if you ain't got the holy spirit so he was filled with the Holy Spirit he was performing in fact he was the first person besides the apostles to perform miracles signs and wonders he was one that had the grace of God and he walked with the power of God he was the first martyr of the church and God would use his death to scatter scatter and multiply the early church Stephen when faced with opposition did not lean on his own intellect or his own
(11:08) wisdom or even his feelings but rather he responded with Heavenly wisdom he responded with what the spirit was telling him to say have has anyone ever been in an argument with someone you couldn't win the argument man these these these leaders these religious people they were getting more and more upset they're trying to argue with him and the Bible's like yeah no Stephen wasn't having it they couldn't they couldn't win they couldn't argue with him in a way to win not because of his
(11:37) own intellect not because of his own gifting because he was simply saying what the spirit of God was telling him to say because he was simply operating with the wisdom of God not what he felt not his own feelings he wasn't getting in the flesh he was just simply saying this is what the spirit of God is saying now why is this important it's because it's setting up some context for us to how Steven was able to endure the difficult thing that he had to uh endure which was the persecution and the killing of him by stoning him to death
(12:10) he was filled with the spirit what is filling you and I today what are you filled with are you filled with anger and bitterness are you filled with distrust are you filled with anxiety or always looking at a new person that comes into your life a relationship as some I don't know if I can trust that person because of what happened to me in the past or are you filled with the spirit of the Living God because it can so easily happen that bad things difficult things I'm not diminishing terrible things happen to us but is that
(12:47) the thing that's filling your tank I remember as a Young Man dealing with the fact that my father was not in the home I was filled with anger and Malice and rage and it was actually the thing that I fueled my life on and it wasn't until I got filled with the holy spirit that I could release that and I could actually forgive my father but it wasn't on My Own Strength my own intellect it was simply the fact that I was saying I'm no longer going to be filled with all this rage all this malice towards somebody
(13:20) but I'm going to choose to forgive by being filled with the holy spirit so Stephen's response to being wronged and be falsely accused is to look up look to your neighbor and say look up look up see often what happens when we have someone that hurts us we hyper fixate on that person or that thing I can't believe they did this and we call up our friends and we telling them you want to believe so and so did this and this and this today and let me tell you about what my boss said to me or what my co-worker
(13:50) said or man this is what my husband said when we was doing it and we just want to go tell every single body about all the things that happened but can I tell you the most important thing you can do when you are facing a grievance with somebody else is to look up not look at them but to look up Stephen's eyes as he is by himself surrounded by people who want nothing but ill intent for his life was to look up and when he decides to look up and not look at the situation he sees a different reality he doesn't see
(14:26) people trying to harm him what he sees is he sees God in heaven in his throne room he sees Jesus standing at the right hand of the father when you think about the things that have happened to you or against you and the areas where you have not forgiven what are you looking at today how many nights are you going to continue to lay lay in bed and dwell on that thing and think back to that hurt and that pain that it caused when are you going to look up to where your help comes from your help's not going to come from looking at
(14:58) that person over and over again well they did this they did this no your help comes when you and I make the decision to look up and let me just say this what we choose to focus on will become Our God and we will be guilty of idolatry you and I can make an idol out of anything including an offense we can make an idol out of an offense and what we're saying is God you're not big enough God you're not Mighty enough God your love is not all surpassing no this hurt this this pain that's what I'll
(15:28) worship at today that's what I'll fix my eyes on today that's what I'll fix my Gaze on today I know this is a really light stuff isn't it help us Lord so what is an idol for you and I an idol is anything more important to you than God including Revenge including wanting to see them punished it's anything more important to us than God anything that absorbs your heart and Imagination more than God anything you seek to give give you what God can give you a counterfeit God is anything so Central
(16:05) and essential to your life that should you lose it your life would feel hardly worth living we can make idols and counterfeit Gods out of an offense in our hearts out of a pain out of a trauma that took place when we were a child now please hear me in a room this size I know there are stories of pain of hardship of things that we would never want to have to talk about see about or that should have never happened to anyone but yet there is a skill of forgiveness that we must possess because Matthew says if you and I cannot learn
(16:43) to forgive then we will not be forgiven so we're looking at Stephen because he didn't just have someone lie on his name or tell him he you know made fun of him when he was a kid no Stephen is having people throw stones to kill him and yet he was able to possess something possess the ability to look up and see God and be able to forgive those who are actively literally killing him what a miracle that is I mean it's easy to just read it in the Bible and just be like oh okay but there are literal Stones flying
(17:21) at him I actually have a a little Stone right here can you help me with that Pastor Jesse so I have this Stone here and you're wondering why it's painted it's because this was my birthday present from my boys they they painted me a little Stone everyone can say a I'm going to turn this illustration to not being so awe but when they would go to Stone somebody to kill someone they were very strategic about the size of the stone that they would choose this is a perfect size Stone actually it's about the size of a
(17:50) fist the reason they would choose the specific stone is because if the stone is too big when they throw it at you it'll kill you too quickly and won't cause enough pain if the stone is too small it might just cause some bumps and scrapes and bruises but it won't actually do their intent which is to kill you so what do you and I do when Stones start flying I can tell you what my instinct is if you throw this stone at me what am I gonna do someone just said it I'm gonna pick it up and I'm gonna be right back to Little
(18:20) League baseball and be like okay and I'm going to throw it but that's not what Stephen decides to do what is your response when you see a crowd amassing when the enemy is surrounding you with accusation after accusation after accusation and he is reminding you of the thought of the thought of the thought of what took place and you see Stones rise up against you what is your response Stephen wasn't even tripping on what they were doing he was looking at his God his eyes were fixed on God his heart every fiber of his being I don't
(19:01) know how he didn't I I just don't even it's just such a miracle that he was able to do this when this was being hurled at him but yet he was so I want to ask you this question today is there a stone in your hands when you think about a specific person a specific situation have you been filling your pockets with stones for years now just waiting for that moment in time where you can get them back and whenever that thought comes or you run into them or you see them at the family barbecue or you saw them at the
(19:33) store all of a sudden you you notice that stone is back in your hand well Jesus in John 8 tells tells us what He Who is out sin go ahead and cast the first stone and they dropped them and so for you and I today part of the skill of forgiveness is realizing we have to drop the stones that we're possessing because we cannot expect the stones in God step in and intervene and forgive us if we will not drop the stones that we are trying to hurl at other people we have to be able to forgive them so Stephen decides that he is going to pray
(20:13) to God as his first response to the stones being thrown at him he is more concerned that God would receive his Spirit than a stone piercing his skull when you and I truly have our Gaze on Christ we are no longer concerned with who wronged us we only see the beauty and Majesty of the king when we are truly fixated on Christ we don't care about who wronged us or what they did let that sink in because the first thing we say no but Pastor you don't know what they did to me I don't but God does and yet still he's greater than that thing
(20:55) right amen when you truly have your eyes fixed ated on him even that thing yes that big horrible deplorable thing that took place even that thing becomes irrelevant because there is nothing greater than his glory and His Majesty there is nothing greater than having a glimpse and seeing him for who he is you will not care what stones are throwing at you you are looking and you are in the presence of your God so how how do we do this Stephen went to prayer immediately he went to prayer and it says this that after he prayed not only for God to
(21:40) receive his Spirit then he uses his last breath can you believe this he had the audacity to use his last breath to ask God to forgive them if I had one last breath this is my flesh talking come on we' have some stuff to say to that person Lord I got one last in me I'm going to let them I'm going to tell them about themselves but he says with my last dying breath his last dying breath didn't even go to God he first goes to God and says Lord would you receive my spirit but his last breath the last
(22:15) thing that he can give to that world is saying Lord forgive them for the sin that they are doing right now man this is incredible that he was able to say God as they're killing me forgive them I don't know about you but I want to have the level of faith I want to have the level of Grace on my life I want to have the ability that despite if they're lying on me despite of their saying this about me to my face that God I will not pray against people but I will pray for people that God I will say Lord forgive
(22:45) them for they know not what they're doing right now Hallelujah that is what it is to have a skill set of forgiveness he chose not to curse as a young young people say you know Pastor Jasmine was up here I got to throw it out there to show my age he chose not to curse the Ops he didn't want to curse no Ops he was praying for his Ops and all the genz people will hopefully appreciate that and I can move on appreciate it thank you brother but instead he's playing for their forgiveness that's not common that's not
(23:19) normal that's not what's natural to us it's only a product of a supernatural skill called forgiveness that is only accessible if you have the Holy Spirit presiding inside of you Martin Luther King Jr said this when talked or asked about forgiveness he said we must develop and maintain everyone say develop Dev it's a skill we have to develop and maintain the capacity to forgive he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love well if God has called us to love we can't do that if we don't
(23:54) have the power to First forgive I would like to say it this this way forgiveness forms the path to Freedom forgiveness forms the path to Freedom when you and I make a decision to not forgive we are choosing the life of a slave we are choosing to be in bondage we are choosing to say that that person and that offense and what they did is now our master and we will serve it all the days of our life but forgiveness gives us a path forward to having true Freedom I'm still praying the holy spirit's reminding you now of
(24:32) who or what you need to forgive so if you and I are going to be good at a specific skill set just like any skill set whether it's dribbling a ball or whatever it is there are certain phases we have to go through so I'm going to go through these pretty quick uh but phase one is you have to learn skill development we first must learn the skill of forgiveness by understanding our need for forgiveness in the first place so before we can get to forgiving others we need to develop this skill now I know uh this could be
(25:04) hard for some of y'all but last Sunday there was very clearly a team that developed skill sets more than the other and I'm glad I was just on The Winning Side aren't you it's a little quiet I don't see any jerseys in here Taylor where they all at oh that's the right kind of Jersey right there forgive me we're talking about forgiveness you can't be upset my team won and God wanted it that way I don't know what to tell you okay here we go phase one skill development before we can forgive others
(25:33) before we can have the skill set to say you know what my brother my sister my spouse my mom my dad I can forgive you we first have to have a realization and I believe we need to as the church come back to this because I've seen a slip away from it do you know that you and I are sinners and that on our greatest day it's like filthy rags that we bring to God and that you and I need the Forgiveness of God and I'm not talking about the one-time forgiveness that comes at Salvation I'm talking like the
(25:58) forgiveness from two days ago the forgiveness for what you thought this morning the forgiveness for you not having patience with with an individual or not having compassion the patient or the Forgiveness needed just to operate on a dayto day we have to get back to the place of just basic fundamental skill development that we need to be asking God for forgiveness for sins of omission sins of commission we need to be going to God and saying Lord I need you to forgive me for that for sinning against you for sinning against a
(26:28) brother or sister we cannot talk here today about forgiveness and presume that we're just all the victims of someone else harming us but we must first start and say no I'm the guilty one God before I look at anybody else as the one that has victimize me I'm going to say no what no actually I'm guilty for a whole list of things God you know them but thank God for your forgiveness you have casted them as far as the East is from the West you remember them no more because of your goodness so in the skill
(26:58) development process if you want to be good at forgiving other people you first have to start going to God and saying Lord let's practice this I need you to forgive me for this it's a muscle it's a skill that can be developed no friends like I said we are the guilty ones we are the ones that had no way to atone of our sin but praise God Jesus came and he paid that price and now we are forgiven and he is faithful and just now we forgive other people Psalm 32:5 says this then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not
(27:34) cover up my iniquity I said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin if you want to develop forgiveness in your life allow the Lord to walk you through all the things that he has forgiven you in your life allow him to show him just as the psalmist says sayl I confessed it all to you I confessed it I I I did not cover up my iniquity I did not pretend that you couldn't see my nakedness or my shame but instead I said Lord here it is here's all of me and he was faithful to
(28:11) forgive Psalm 13922 through2 24 the NLT version says this search me oh God some dangerous words right there and know my heart test me and know my anxious thoughts point out anything everyone say anything anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life woo that's a dangerous prayer search me and point out to me God that is someone who is devoted to wanting to have the skill of forgiveness that is someone who wants to be in right standing with God not trying to duck God from the things
(28:49) that they've done or said but going right to God running boldly to the throne room of Grace when we have a broken and contrite heart it's like having a good coach that we can trust to say hey you know what you need to switch up your form a little bit right here you need to move your feet you need to Pivot your hips it they're able to coach us and show us what it is to receive forgiveness intimacy with God is like a forgiveness practice session the closer you are to him the more you're practicing forgiveness because he is a
(29:22) holy God and the Holy Spirit Will convict us of the things in our lives and the reason why it's important we start with skill development with God is because the human nature if we keep on sinning and we keep on doing something eventually your receptors of your spirit will grow numb come on you can already think of what that thing is you've done it so many times and the first dozen you knew it was bad and you felt conviction but because there wasn't repentance because there wasn't saying God broken
(30:00) and contrite here I am would you forgive me you began to get numb to doing it to where now you can do it and you feel nothing and now you're a person walking around with the Forgotten skill and you won't know how to forgive anybody because you haven't truly received it for yourself intimacy with God changes that getting close Stephen was filled with the Holy Spirit the power of God the grace of God the faith of God because of proximity to God forgiveness is not a one-time posture it's something we have to regularly do
(30:33) we have to regularly pray God search me God show me even the things that we don't know we did he will show us hey you know what you didn't handle that the best way you should go ask for forgiveness what yes you should go ask for forgiveness if we go through the skill development the second phase that we get to is the phase two practicing with others if you've ever been on a sports team you know practic ractice is not by yourself you go to practice with your team we need to practice forgiveness with one another practicing with others
(31:06) is a clear way to improve our skills in a specific Arena forgiving other people does more for us than it will do for them and that's why we must practice it with people because when we stay up at night not being able to forgive someone for what they did they're sleeping they rolling over in bed snoring they having a good old time because they don't even know sometimes that they offended us and yet we're harping on it and we're all stirred up and they're they don't even know it's not affecting their day at
(31:34) all and so we have to practice forgiveness with one another has God showed you already in your mind who you need to forgive I'm just praying for it you might have someone who hurt you and it was like level 10 hurt and they have no clue and that can make you even more upset and mad but the reality is we need need to practice forgiveness with one another Mark 11:25 and when you stand praying if you hold anything against anyone forgive them so that your father in Heaven May forgive you your sins see God instituted this that we cannot get
(32:13) around forgiving people he's saiding hey look if you want to come and pray to me and talk with me uh before you start praying to me do you need to go forgive somebody is there someone that I've been reminding you of is there a situation I've been kind of prodding you and poking you in saying hey you need to reconcile that situation God tells us that we should go and do so in fact in the Bible God would even tell us before you try to bring me an offering you better go and reconcile with your brother or sister go ahead and set it
(32:41) down go to the other side of the can you imagine we did that today before we prayed for the offering it's biblical you get up you go over here and you're like you know what sister before I give to God I just need to apologize I've held a I've held uh I've had a qualm that I've held against you I've had a grudge against you I've held bitterness against you would you forgive me that's powerful that's how the church is supposed to be because we're all people and we all get
(33:06) offended and so we need to practice our forgiveness uh forgiveness hear me while it is free for the recipient will always be costly to The Giver you got to have a big bank if you're gonna forgive a lot of people how do you get access to that God forgiveness is always free to the person you are forgiving but M does it cost us a lot it cost us humility it can it can cost us to have to lay down our pride and our ego it can cost us a lot of emotional uh things that we have to work through it is not free and you can't fake forgiveness you
(33:45) I forgave him are you sure because every time you talk about that person you you start shaking and your face looks so mean like you sure you forg oh yeah I'm forgiven them Pastor they're forgiven okay do they feel this hostile as I feel I'm not even that person and I feel attacked you can't fake forgiveness you can't fake it it has to be from a genuine place it has to be you saying I'm paying the price Matthew 18:21 then Peter came to Jesus and asked Lord how many times shall I forgive my
(34:20) brother or sister cuz see some of y'all are like Peter and I can say that because I'm like Peter like all right God I'm going to forgive him once but how many times what if they do again well he says if they sin against me this many times how many Jesus says up to or Peter says up to seven times Jesus answered I tell you not seven times but 77 times essentially Jesus is saying an endless amount of times Peter you're going to have to forgive that person well well God it's the 18th time they did this then it's going to be the
(34:49) 19th time you forgive them because we try to reason it in our mind and we try to justify and say well this just must be you know they've just done it so many times now I'm not saying if someone stole from your wallet 18 times you should keep leaving your wallet out on the counter when they're there go tuck that thing in your back pocket and and praise God but we have to be able to continually forgive our brothers and sisters it is not a one-time thing but is a cyclical thing for you and I Tim Keller says this but
(35:22) when you forgive that means you absorb the loss and the thatb and you bear it yourself these are not things we want to hear but this is the skill set of forgiveness the worship team you guys can please come it is going to cost us to absorb the debt that takes a great sense of maturity that takes a great sensitivity to the spirit of God you know as I Was preparing for this message I asked uh someone asked this question I think it's a great question that we're all going to ask ourselves can we be angry with
(35:55) someone while also being forgiving towards them cuz I know we would like to can we be angry at somebody angry at what they did while also saying but God I am forgiving towards them now I'm not going to give you my answer to that I'm just going to give two examples in the Bible and you can deduce this for yourself do you believe that Stephen was angry with the men stoning him while he prayed Lord do not hold this sin against him or how about Jesus when he's on the cross after he's been mocked brutally
(36:37) beaten crucified was he angry on the cross when he said father forgive them for they know not what they are doing so can you and I have anger towards somebody and I'm not talking about when we're talking about forgiveness we're not saying like oh they they they walk by me and didn't say hi like that's just surface level y'all we got to grow up we're talking about an actual grievance something that actually caused harm to us we have to be able to say I'm going to choose to take the loss
(37:14) and absorb the debt so that reconciliation and forgiveness can take place I mean no one wants to be Steven and to be the one that got stoned to death but yet we read about Stephen and we admire him Stephen wasn't concerned about people of this world he was more fixated on God his eyes were there phase three the Final Phase cuz see often times we can get through the first two we can learn and understand that we have a deep desire for the need of forgiveness from God we can practice forgiveness with one another but yet there is a third phase
(37:51) which is to practice in private I remember my my coach would always tell me he would say James normal average players practice when other people practice but if you want to be great you got to practice in private so as soon as our basketball team practice within my practice would begin and practicing in private is simply this because we'll forgive other people we'll say God I need forgiveness but then we'll keep condemning ourselves and won't forgive ourselves there are some of it you in here today you have not forgiven
(38:23) yourself though the other people in the situation have forgiven you God's word is true that he has forgiven you yet you are still walking around with guilt and shame and you will not forgive yourself Paul in 1 Corinthians 4 3-5 he says as for me it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority that includes us to ourselves I don't even trust my own judgment on this point my conscience is clear but that doesn't prove I'm right this is gold how many times do we feel like well
(39:04) my conscious is clear and we think that means we're right he says no no no that does not mean I'm right it is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide practicing in private means you practice forgiving yourself as Christ has forgiven you no longer do you need to carry shame and guilt the enemy remember he's the accuser of the brethren he wants you to feel condemned he will lead you to Temptation and then he will put it on blast and condemn you but Roman 8 tells us that there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in
(39:38) Christ Jesus and because you belong to him the power of the lifegiving spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death no longer do you need to live your life condemned practice in private receive the Forgiveness of God so lastly today my prayer has been that God would stir our hearts that we would be men and women humbled and broken before God and that we would yet choose forgiveness I was going to end with an inspiring story of forgiveness and I thought there's nothing greater than just the word of God showing us an act
(40:18) of forgiveness as Stephen is being stoned to death I'll leave you with this we do not know what Stephen let me say it this way I didn't read it to you acts 6:15 it says that as they were coming against Stephen and they looked at him his face was that of an angel that shows to it's not just that we forgive but it's how we go about the process of forgiving what do your face look like today what's your face look like when you see that person but what really stood out and what was fascinating was Acts 7:56 when he says
(40:53) as he's looking up to heaven he says look I see Heaven open and the son of man standing at the right hand of God now if you studied your Bible for any point in time you will know that after Jesus ascended to Heaven There is one place we hear about Jesus all the time and that is to the right hand of the father but he is never standing what is he doing he's sitting account after account after account when it talks about Jesus in the throne room of God he is sitting at the right hand of the father but yet in this
(41:22) act of Steven surrender in this act of miraculous forgiveness it is something that caused Jesus himself to stand up as if he was looking at Stephen and saying I see you son I see your level of forgiveness I see your level of Grace for other people that though they are harming you you don't care you're just looking at me though you are being battered though the rocks are coming you are choosing to forgive even the worst of accusers Jesus stands looking at him and I can only be jealous and say Lord I want you to stand and
(41:56) look at me and look at the way that I will forgive people and be pleased with the way I respond not choosing malice or hate but choosing to say father even if it's my last dying breath would you forgive them for what they have done that is a forgotten skill of forgiveness so there's some next steps for each and every one of us here I'd ask if you would all stand with me today maybe you're here and the first step before you can go any further is simply this you need to receive God as your lord and savior receive
(42:32) salvation today and understand that God is forgiving you of your sins he's forgiving you of the things that you have done he's forgiving you no matter how Wicked no matter how wrong it can be we all have something we've all fallen short of the glory of God and yet he offers forgiveness so I'm going to do this with your eyes wide open you can look around if you want if you're here to today and you you need to receive the Forgiveness of God by placing Your Faith and Hope in Jesus Christ would you just slip up your hand
(43:03) so I can pray for you amen thank you for that thank you hands going up all over anyone else want to join these that says I need to receive the Forgiveness of God for my sins I won't take much longer on this amen okay this is what we're going to do here at Real Life Church we pray the Salvation prayer together as a family we're going to have it on the screen for you when you're praying this prayer I want you to understand it's not about these words being magical it's about what is happening in your heart this is
(43:32) just putting language to what God is doing and stirring in your heart can we read this church family together this salvation prayer Jesus I believe you are the Son of God that you died on the cross to rescue me from my sin and death and to restore me to the father I choose Now to turn from my sins my self-centeredness and every part of my life that does not please you I choose choose you I give myself to you I receive your forgiveness and ask you to take your rightful place in my life as My Savior and Lord restore me live in me
(44:08) and through me in Jesus name I pray amen amen come on can we give it up for those who place their faith in Jesus if that was you today and you raised your hand we have a packet here I have decided packet we have a team of visioners who are in the back uh they want to pray for you they want to hear about what God is doing in your life we have a gift that we want to place in your hand this is the greatest decision you could have made to place your faith in Jesus Christ and to receive the Forgiveness of God today two more people
(44:41) that we're going to pray for and if our altar workers can come we're just going to dismiss it'll be a soft dismissal and if you need prayer you can come to the front there's two more steps step number two is you need to release someone today you need to forgive somebody today and release them from the grip that you've had you need to throw your stone down and not be dwelling or thinking about when you can get that revenge or number three you're here because you need to accept the Forgiveness that God has already offered
(45:11) you that others have already offered you but you've been struggling to truly believe that you are forgiven so if you're either one of those people in just a moment I'm going to pray for us and then we're just going to release you can come to the front our prayer team would love to pray pray for you I know we've gone a little bit long here but I believe that God is doing such a great work so if you need prayer because you need help forgiving somebody that has harmed you whether it be a level 10 or a level two it doesn't
(45:39) matter or if you're here today and say man I've been forgiven I've been forgiven by God I've been forgiven by others but I I can't seem to forgive myself I want you to come so our team can pray for you Lord we thank you for this day we thank you for the great work that you are doing in our lives we thank you for Steven's life Lord that he did not choose to retaliate with violence that he did not choose to to run to throw a stone back but he just chose to look up and to see you father I pray for
(46:06) everyone under the sound of my voice that you would help us when we're hurt when we've been harmed when we've been offended when wrong has been done to us God make us quick to be forgivers help us Lord to be quick to reconcile help us Lord to see or to be like what Paul says to be at peace with all people to the best of our ability God we want you to be pleased with our actions and our thoughts so help us we pray we honor you and we love you and we thank you for the gift and for the skill of forgiveness in Jesus
(46:38) mighty name amen amen amen hey I want to take a moment again and say thank you for joining us real life Church's mission is to engage real life Embrace real people and encounter the real God and we want you to know that you are a part of that mission we also want to make sure that you know about the best way to keep in the know about all things real life church and that is through the church Center app through this app you can give check out groups and look at our events and even update your profile information we'd love to take a moment
(47:09) and thank all of our generous givers through your gift we are able to make a difference for God's Kingdom in our community and Beyond there are a couple different ways that you can give virtually through our church Center app via our website rlc.com or you can text give and the amount to 843 321 don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can stay up toate and encouraged with the latest message we'd also love to connect with you on our other social media channels where we share RLC life see you next
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