Learning to Forgive
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Forgiveness is: the decision or choice to give up the right for vengeance, retribution, and negative thoughts toward an offender in order to be free from anger and resentment.
Forgiveness is not: forgetting, condoning, or perpetuating injustice. Since it is sometimes unsafe or impossible, forgiveness does not always involve reconciliation.
“God will give us the love to be able to forgive our enemies” - Corrie ten Boom
Matthew 18:15-22 15
“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector. 18 “I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven. 19 “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them. 21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!1. You can conquer most any conflict with a process. “Go privately and point out the offense.”
“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. - NLT
“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you.” - MSG
Avoider: Handling conflict is not a calling, it's a life skill to be learned.
Conflict in the Workplace
In the U.S. the average time employees spend weekly on resolving disagreements in the workplace is 2.8 hours per week.85% of U.S. employees have some level of conflict at work.
Managers spend around 6 hours per week (roughly 15% of their time) solving work conflicts.
56% of employees who experienced conflict at work reported that it led them to stress, anxiety and/or depression.
40% reported being less motivated because of conflict.
Pursuer: Manages conflict in a healthy way, and teaches others to do the same.
The goal of learning to manage conflict in a healthy way is to make things right, make or keep a friend, and not make an enemy.
Matthew 18:15b
“If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.”Approaching conflict in a healthy process can bring success for both parties involved.
2. You can conquer most any conflict when connected to a community.
Matthew 18:16
But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.If going to the person in privacy doesn’t work go to them with your community
Matthew 18:17
If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.An unresolved church issue should be brought to a pastor or church leadership.
“If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.” - MSG
Matthew 18:18-20
18 “I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven. 19 “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.Someone’s unwillingness to make things right with you on earth doesn’t have to negatively impact your spiritual life.
All of heaven has your back, when you confront conflict in a godly manner.
The most important principles in God’s conflict management process:
Unified Prayer and His PresenceMatthew 18:19-20
19 “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.When we make decisions in accordance with God's will, especially in the context of resolving conflicts and extending forgiveness, we can be assured that our actions are acknowledged and supported by God in heaven.
3. You can conquer conflict by not keeping count.
Matthew 18:21-22
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” 22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!Forgiveness is not about keeping score, it’s about losing count.
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(00:19) get up get out your seat live out your Desy get out we're looking living just like RC but when you don't have the skill to know how to forgive how do you do it are you kidding me you're asking someone to forgive somebody in that
(01:22) situation somebody who's been betrayed somebody who's been cheated on how you know forgiveness is hard you see Vicki had every right to do what she did you can even make a Biblical case for her stance her husband Lou did something that was Unthinkable and she did what most of us would do threw his stuff out in the yard come on how many would have just threw his stuff out in the yard can't blame her for that but God changed her heart towards her cheating husband and God did something miraculous someone once said
(02:05) to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you forgiveness many times is about moving forward us moving forward not just letting somebody off the hook in this type of situation we know that it doesn't always work out that way this is a happy ending but whether they got back together or not forgiveness would have come into play for Vicky at some point in her life you see if you've been involved in any type of relationship that ended badly whether it was a friendship a boyfriend or girlfriend
(02:45) relationship a marriage at some point you had to learn to forgive or you are stuck and maybe even currently stuck you see forgive foress is the key to action and freedom we're not born with it we have to learn how to do it for Vicki she said this this is what stood out to me it took years last week Pastor Jane talked about the promise of forgiveness and today I wanted to because because the promise sometimes we think when we say promises that means instant but every promise comes with a process and sometimes how we know the
(03:38) promise that comes with a process takes years takes time so today we're going to answer the question what is forgiveness especially as it relates to church life everybody say uhoh but before we answer that question I just want to encourage you if you're wanting the notes and the scriptures uh you can go to the U verion or the Bible app uh go to events Real Life Church Sacramento and you can get all that there you can share it add to it um and it's all there for you and you can save it you can even preach it tell your
(04:17) friends about it but take this message and do something with it forgiveness is a gift from God's son Jesus Christ but how in turn do I forgive when someone has hurt me you see it's easy to ask forgiveness for my sins but why isn't it just as easy to forgive someone for the sin they committed against me not so easy forgiveness is the decision or choice to give up the right for vengeance retribution and negative thoughts towards an offender in order to be free from anger and resentment forgiveness is a process
(05:08) everybody say that with me forgiveness is a process it promotes healing and restoration of inner peace and it can allow reconciliation to take place in a relationship doesn't mean it will always happen but it positions us for uh for God and the Holy Spirit to work in our lives to allow ow it to happen it is also important to be clear about what forgiveness is not forgiveness is not forgetting forgiveness is not condoning forgiveness is not perpetuating Injustice since it's sometimes unsafe or impossible forgiveness does not always
(05:55) involve reconciliation forgiveness does not mean Justice will not be served it actually assures us we will not become a slave to unforgiveness bitterness and resentment because of what someone did to us or said about us forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook it actually prevents you from getting hooked by the bait of Satan which is the Trap of offense forgiveness is not always quick everybody say it's a process process it's a process that can take time to unfold everybody say time Corey tinboom a survivor of a
(06:40) concentration camp during the Holocaust she dedicated her life traveling and preaching about forgiveness if you ever can pick up a book on her I encourage you to read it but she dedicated her life to traveling and preaching on the subject of forgiveness she told the stories of losing her family members in the war and how she had to release the bitterness and anger towards those who harmed her family she is quoted as saying this God will give us the love to be able to forgive our enemies later in life at one of her
(07:20) Ministry meetings Corey met one of the concentrate Camp concentration camp guards when he attended one of her meetings after initially struggling she graciously forgave embraced and wept with him I forgive you brother she says with all my heart for a long moment they grasped hands together and the former guard and the former with the former guard and former prisoner she says I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then but even so I realized listen that it was not my love I had tried and did not have the
(07:58) power in it was the power of the holy spirit so when we look at stories like Lou and Vicki when we look at stories like uh Corey tin boom listen the reason why these things happen is it's not our power it's not our love it's not our ability it's God working in us and through us to do what we can't do on our own and so a lot of times we see these types of stories and say not me not in the world but how you know God can do come on all things maybe you've tried to forgive and can't maybe you've tried to move on and
(08:42) you can't maybe today is the day whatever the offense is maybe it's time to ask the Holy Spirit to give us what we don't have so we can forgive and move on come on tap your neighbor and say I'm moving on Holy Spirit spirit I just ask that you would probe our hearts today and I pray that if anybody is stuck if anybody is confused about this issue of forgiveness Lord I pray that you would give us a revelation God of how God give us revelation of the process of the promise of forgiveness in Jesus name amen so
(09:25) what about managing Church conflict I mean if anybody should have forgiveness down it's us and yet here we are Matthew 18:1 1518 it's a uh very common passage especially when it comes to conflict but I don't know uh how uh often we dive a little deeper into the text so I wanted to uh read it this morning it says this if another believer sins against you go privately and go point out the offense if the other person listens and confesses it you have won that person back but if you are unsuccessful take one or two others with
(10:11) you and go back again so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three Witnesses if the person still refuses to listen take your case to the church everybody say Church chur then if he or she won't accept the church's decision treat the person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector I tell you the truth whatever you forbid on Earth will be forbidden in heaven and whatever you permit on Earth will be permitted in heaven this is where we like to cherry-pick these verses I also tell you this if two of
(10:47) you agree on Earth concerning anything you ask my Father in heaven will do it for you for where two or three gather as my followers I'm there among them then Peter came to him and I'm going to actually stopped there we're not going to get that far I was studying this morning and holy spirit you ain't getting that far so we'll come back to that in a couple weeks Jesus gives us a progression of principles for learning how to manage conflict and getting into a place come on where we can let people
(11:21) go and let God and the first principle is this you can conquer most any conflict with a process you can conquer most any conflict with a process take marriage for example study show the amount of disagreements how many know there's some disagreements in marriage how many would agree there are a lot of disagreements in marriage studies man am I the only one man are we you guys need to sign up for the marriage Retreat coming up in April all right but studies show the amount of disagreements are not related
(11:58) to Mar happiness as much as how they are handled happy couples do not avoid disagreements they resolve them while remaining respectful of each other therefore by strengthening their relationships so how do we as God's people handle disagreements how do we remain respectful by engaging in healthy conflict everybody say process process you see without a process a conflict can seem impossible to conquer it can seem like a mountain that you have to move in your own strain without a process the conflict I have
(12:44) with another person and the path I have to travel on to correct things at times can seem unreasonable you mean really Lord I got to say I'm sorry I didn't do anything and and you're asking me to say I'm sorry you're asking me to humble myself how you know you can be right and wrong at the same time without a process I can be so overwhelmed emotionally just thinking about the confrontation I just avoid it well Lord I'll just get over it 10 years later Lord I'll just get over it 23 later 23 L 23 years later
(13:28) like me Lord I'll just get over it without a process the pursuit to win back the heart of my brother or sister who has sinned against me offended me seems inconceivable are you kidding me God you're asking me to do what but with a process everybody say process conflict becomes manageable I love that Jesus gives us both a promise of forgiveness which Pastor James didn't he do a great job last week for those of you that were here I encourage you to go back and and and look at it if you didn't we about sound like three people
(14:08) were here at church last week but Jesus gives us the promise to forgive but he also gives us the process to experience forgiveness in our lives Matthew 1815 let's go back it says this if another believer sins against you have me know if you've been in church long enough somebody's going to say something to you do something to you there's going to be a misunderstanding there's going to be a post on Facebook if another how you been around long enough that somebody sinned against you anybody all right again we are not a
(14:55) perfect church we are a church being perfected so we're just just putting it out there today if another believer sins against you go privately and point out the offense I like how Eugene Peterson translated in the message he says this if a fellow believer hurts you go and tell them work it out between the two of you but lord it's much easier to put them on blast on social media this is what we have to understand help healthy believers do not run away from conflict they run towards conflict in a healthy
(15:37) way can you just put that down write that that's not in your notes healthy Believers don't run away from conflict they run towards the conflict in a healthy way you see there's two types of people in the room today avoiders of conflict and pursuers of solving conflict now most of us in the room this is this is a fact we are avoiders for avoiders handling conflict is not a calling we that's in fact that's our excuse the Lord didn't call me to solve conflict that's pastor's job avoiders handling conflict is not a
(16:26) calling it's a life skill to be learned it's a life skill to be learned as I mentioned a majority of people avoid conflict because they don't have conflict resolution skills I've told you about this was a big issue in my life especially in my 20s my 30s I literally didn't really get breakthrough until I was about 47 or 48 now what I'm the reason why I'm preaching this is because I don't want you to have to wait that long come on how you know that's what wisdom is learn learning from somebody
(16:59) else's stupidity all right all right so I I want you to learn from my stupidity because I I approach I didn't approach conflict I ran away from it because for me conflict was unhealthy therefore if it is unhealthy that is of the devil and I must run the other way that's not how we deal with conflict just because you don't have the skill doesn't mean it can't be learned the avoider must take time to learn how to deal with conflict in a healthy way and that's what I had to do I finally
(17:36) somebody finally gave me the tools so that I could pursue conflict in a healthy way instead of running away from it my entire life and I believe I believe part of my breakthrough actually opened the door for me to pastor this church because within two weeks of me becoming Pastor guess what I ran into conflict and and guess who was ready but it only took me 47 years Hallelujah see conflict can only kill you if you refuse to see it as a skill now I've given you some examples today of different types of conflict
(18:15) marital conflict uh we've seen this example uh the extremes and the atrocities of the Holocaust my point is this conflict is everywhere and God wants us to learn how to handle it and grow from it instead of us getting stuck cuz many of us we are stuck conflict is everywhere it's in the workplace in the US the average time employees spend weekly on resolving disagreements in the workplace is almost three hours per week amen and you're getting paid for it too amen all right 85% of us employees have have some
(18:59) level of conflict at work 56% of employees who experience Conflict at work reported that it led them to stress anxiety and or depression 40% reported being less motivated because how many know conflict will keep you from wanting to go to work the pursuer and this is where the minority of people are the pursuer manages conflict in a healthy way and teaches others to do the same listen the person that has been gifted with conflict resolution skills they aren't the only ones that we call upon when there's a
(19:45) problem as a pursuer as one who knows how to manage conflict well you are to teach others and that's what we're attempting to do today so Jesus tells us to pursue people privately up close face to face and point out the offense this is what I want us to understand healthy confrontation there is such a thing first of all healthy confrontation is a skill to be learned I need you to say yes yes to the process because this is how we deal with conflict in a healthy way and how you know even in a multiethnic church is going to be
(20:31) disagreements we're not going to see eye to eye on everything on every issue on this on that and we have to learn listen how to confront one another in a healthy way instead of just church hopping until we've discovered like actually there is no perfect church so here are some things about conflict we don't deal with conflict from a distance we don't deal with conflict through a text message how you know that'll blow up in your face we don't deal with conflict through an email we don't deal with conflict on
(21:11) social media for the whole world to see we don't deal with Conflict by running to everyone else first we always deal with Conflict by going to the person in private who offended me why because check this out I love this about the process because most conflicts can be resolved in private not public that first step where you go to somebody is where actually most conflicts are resolved most conflicts don't go beyond that they're settled right there that should be a relief to some of us see you don't have to put your
(21:52) business out there and everyone else's if you do things God's way here are some Basics that I've learned about about conflict conflict is always scarier from a distance now listen as a avoider I'm in the majority as an avoider every time conflict comes up I just say Pastor Jesse you go take care of that that's what I always want to do we we fight over this every now there's some ensing in the office I'm like you got to take care of that one you know it's like on rotation you know but but
(22:27) listen there there is a temptation to delegate what I don't want to deal with oh oh that'll preach right there listen there is a temptation to delegate what I don't want to deal with and listen whatever I delegate listen limits my growth as a leader I don't grow if I don't engage in tension if I don't engra engage in Conflict I don't grow and so listen when conflict arises listen one of the things I've got to do is I got to run towards it not away from it I got to pick up the phone and call I
(23:03) had to do that a couple weeks ago boom just get on the call call boom call no text call hey can we meet hey we could do it over no can we meet a conflict is always bigger when you refuse to confront it and deal with it when I refuse to deal with conflict the Messier it becomes in my mind come on I blew it up in my mind come on fear because now I'm living by fear not Faith now I'm making up what's going to happen or what's not going to happen come on when I go to that person in person and I've got this whole scenario
(23:53) and I'm breaking out in sweats I'm not sleeping I'm yelling at my wife hello spanking my kids because I'm afraid to deal with a person who offended me so I get mad at everybody else in my house come on instead of going to the person and just resolving that conflict that's got me all locked up here's the thing that we have to understand is anybody getting in confrontation is not punishment it's management I'm not trying to punish you embarrass you or shame you I'm trying to
(24:43) manage our relationship so it remains healthy and strong you see the goal of learning to manage conflict in a healthy way is to make things right make or keep a friend and not make an enemy look at Matthew 181 or 1815b is what I call it if the other person listens and confesses it you have won that person back how many you know that feels good come on when that conversation went the totally opposite way you thought it was going to go I mean you came loaded you was ready you had the list if they said that you was going to and
(25:28) didn't even go down that road they was like okay please forgive me you know let's hug come on you're like oh approaching conflict in a healthy way can end up being a win-win for both parties involved you say Pastor Dean what if they don't listen everybody say second step there's Community here's the here's here's here's a key thing you do not have to do conflict alone this is why you should be in a small group you can conquer most any conflict when connected to a community Matthew 18:16 but if you are
(26:21) unsuccessful going to the person by yourself in private if you are unsuccessful take one or two everybody say one or two or two come on don't email your group of 80 you know take one or two others with you and go back again so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three Witnesses you see the source of continual conflict many times is a result of pride a hardened heart like they're not going to listen to you by yourself no matter what you do so if going to the person and privacy doesn't
(27:06) work go to them with your Community Pride cannot coexist within a healthy Community because a healthy Community is grounded in humility so in order to be successful live and thrive in community and the humility that it offers here's some tips bring some friends that you know bring some friends that know the person and the situation with you maybe they won't hear you but maybe they'll hear it from somebody else maybe it's time for an intervention sometimes you have to save people from themselves what happens if that doesn't
(27:51) work everybody say there's a process let's look at verse 17 if the person still refuses to listen take your case to the church then if he or she won't accept the church's decision treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector an unresolved Church everybody say Church issue should be brought to a pastor or church leadership let me give you an example of what church issues are not if you have a health emergency call 911 first not the church that's a health issue then call the church to get some
(28:38) prayer I'm just telling you these are real life stories you need to hang up the phone right now and call 911 if someone is breaking into your home don't call the church call the police don't call the p p o c come on call the p o c Pastor on call for those of you that don't know what pass PLC all right if your kids are failing in school call a tutor not your youth pastor now Pastor Isaiah and Andrea are smart I mean really smart but they have their own kids hire a tutor that's what Amy and I do
(29:30) let me give you a real life example when I I was in my 20s there was this church issue that happened to a friend of mine and he was living with one of the elders and he received a big inheritance he's only 24 big inheritance and the Elder asked if he could borrow 25,000 with the promise to pay him back by a certain date but he never did everybody say Church issue you have somebody in leadership that's a thief so my friend went to leadership and the story didn't end well unfortunately and that Elder abruptly
(30:12) left the church and never repaid my friend so guess what my friend chose to do he forgave the debt that was owed him and let God deal with him now he could have sued him he could have did all that but that's what he chose to do see when you forgive you in no way change the past but for yourself you sure do change the future verse 17 then if he or she won't accept the church's decision treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector now this is like if you read this for face value everybody gets
(30:52) excited this is where I get to cut them off done you know there are a lot of commentaries that talk about excommunication and cutting people off and I don't know if you've ever talked I've talked a lot of people in Colts where this kind of thing happens uh and though I do think there are situations that require Extreme Measures uh I've been involved with restraining orders abusive situations again forgiveness is not being a doormat for Jesus can I just say that again forgiveness is not being a
(31:29) doormat for Jesus I like how Eugene Peterson translates this he says if he still won't listen now first of all he says he all right I'll just move on if he still won't listen tell the church if he won't listen to the church you'll have to start over from scratch confront him with the need of repentance and offer off again God's forgiving love offer again God you don't know what he did to me offer again God's forgiving love Lord I've been carrying this for a long to offer again God's forgiving love again and
(32:22) again and again you may have to listen offer that person listen if they're if they're resist listen to forgiven the idea of forgiveness and the love of God listen you've just got to continue to offer to God again and again and again and again until you're free until it's not affecting you anymore you see put the unhealthy people in your life in God's hands then we get to one of the most misinterpreted passages in all of scripture because we make this scripture these passages right here these verses
(33:06) right here we make these verses right here about God showing up at a poorly attended church meeting Matthew 1818 to20 I tell you the truth whatever you forbid on Earth will be forbidden in heaven and whatever you permit on Earth will be permitted in heaven I I also tell you this if two of you agree here on Earth this is where we do it at the small prayer meeting where nobody showed up if two of you agree here on Earth concerning anything you ask my Father in heaven will do it for you for where two or three are
(33:42) gathered this is what we do come on Glory night nobody shows up we're two or three are gathered I'm there among them don't matter where everybody else is at God is here Among Us you see it's important for us to understand that in context Jesus Is providing guidance to his disciples on matters of forgiveness and Reconciliation within the context of community so let's follow the progression really quick a Believer is committed to the process everybody say process proc of managing conflict in a
(34:18) Biblical way a Believer is applying the principles of the word of God to their conflict they've confronted them privately they've confronted them uh with community and with humility and now they submitted to their church leaders and Spiritual Authority so we have a process we have principles we have people who are in community we have a pastors to submit our church issues to and because we are in alignment with managing conflict God's way on Earth even if the person refuses to have a change of heart who refuses to repent
(34:54) and change their mind listen you and I are not bound to the decision not to make things right you are actually loosed from it in other words their hangup whatever it is cannot hold you hostage because you are aligned with heaven and how many know there is no bondage in heaven therefore in your life because you've done things God's way and not your way come on there is no bondage in your life on Earth what I'm trying trying to communicate this morning is someone's willingness unwillingness to make things
(35:32) right with you on Earth doesn't have to negatively impact your spiritual life it doesn't have to put you on the shelf for 25 years listen it doesn't have to get you stuck in the mud this is God's heart he doesn't watch you to be stuck anymore and you're letting listen that person listen that you've got locked up in your heart you're letting that person direct you and dictate you how your life is going to be lived and God wants to set you free from that it's time to release yourself from
(36:21) the shackles of waiting for someone to regret how they mistreated you and forgive them without an apology so you can move forward you see the passage suggests that when followers of Jesus exercise their Authority in resolving conflicts and making decisions especially in matters of forgiveness and Reconciliation their actions are aligned with God's will when you and I are in alignment with God's Will and walking out the process everybody say the process come on how are you in process right now when you're walking out the process and the
(37:02) principles on Earth understand this all of Heaven is backing you up he will listen he will Empower you to do what you cannot do in your own strength listen I know listen I know that person seems impossible to forgive I know you're bitter I know you're resentful I know you're angry believe me I've been there but listen it is the holy spirit on the inside of you that wants to break you loose from the very things that are binding you on this Earth all of Heaven has your back when you confront conflict in a Godly
(37:54) manner how many you ever done it in an ungodly man manner it didn't work right but don't forget the most important principles and I'm this is where I really wanted to get the most important principles in this process in God's conflict management process is this United prayer and his presence prayer from your community why you're going through the stuff while you're going through the thick of it this is where God shows up when you think you're alone and two or three come around you in his name to pray when you don't feel
(38:44) like praying come on to forgive when you don't feel like forgiving come on to give your heart to God when you don't feel like giving it this is where God shows up in community in prayer and it's not you praying it's two or three others praying for you cuz if it was left up to you you wouldn't pray you'd say I tried that done that bought the T-shirt it don't work but you got two other or three other people in your life say come on baby we going to get through this together we're going to pray the prayers
(39:23) of heaven today we're going to prophesy you out of this to ression we're going to prophesy you out of the defeat we're going to prophesy you out of the disappointment this is what the Lord is saying and God shows up right in the middle of the mass right in the middle of the conflict cuz you're doing what you're supposed to do I also tell you this verse 18 n 18 uh 19 to 20 I also tell you this if two of you agree here on Earth concerning anything well you don't know my situation anything that doesn't exclude your
(40:09) circumstances if two of you agree here on Earth concerning anything you ask my Father in heaven will do it for you I don't know about you I I'm looking up at that video I'm going man you might looking at me going not me that happened to me his stuff going to be out on the lawn right for where two or three gathered together as my followers I'm there among them this is what I want us to catch just because prayer and presence are are mentioned last in the process does not mean they are your last resort Jesus is not saying when you've
(41:07) done all these things when you've went to the person privately and you went to the person with your community and you went to your pastor and you submitted the church issue to them if none of that works try praying he's not saying that he's saying from the get-go get an alignment and agreement with heaven and see if I won't show up you wonder how marriages are restored you wonder how someone forgives the unforgivable you wonder how someone forgives a huge debt you wonder how someone forgives a church hurt when
(41:47) individuals come together and agree to seek resolution particularly in the context of forgiveness Jesus assures them that God will respond favorably to their request from the first step come on all the way to the last step listen God is with you when you go to that person in private oh yes he is you got two or three people praying at home you say hey at such and such a time I'm meeting so and so at Starbucks I need you to be praying at 10:00 a.m.
(42:24) because at 10:00 a.m. I'm expecting heaven to flood Starbucks now the person doesn't know about it but when you go there come on Heaven Falls in Starbucks they say they're sorry you say you're sorry and now you got a friend when followers of Jesus come together to address conflicts and extend forgiveness the mountains of offense bitterness and unforgiveness are going to melt like wax in the presence of the Lord amen when we make a decision in accordance with God's will especially in the context of resolving conflicts and
(43:04) extending forgiveness we can be assured that our actions are acknowledged and supported by God in heaven and I felt like this morning that the Lord wanted you to know that you are supported you're supported by God in heaven you're supported by the community that is around you whether that's a small group whether that's a community whether that's Sunday morning friend that you've met and you're support you're supported by the leadership of this church you're supported everybody say
(43:42) I'm supported supp but the reality is many of us don't think we are we don't feel like God has our back we don't feel like our community has our back our friends have our back definitely don't feel like the pastor has our back but God wants us to learn how to get the process of forgiveness down so we can get to the promise of forgiveness maybe you're here this morning and you haven't forgiven yourself you haven't asked for forgiveness from God you're not in relationship with him can I just tell
(44:32) you that can all change right now listen if you are without hope and you're not seeing a way to get unstuck in your life can I tell you Jesus Christ is your personal Lord and savior is the only answer and he's calling you to get right with him first before he works everything else out so if you're here this morning with every head bowed every eye closed and listen you just want to get right with God you need to ask him to forgive you for the sin in your life that's separating you listen from the promise
(45:05) of forgiveness and the process of forgiveness will you just lift your hand I want to pray with you yes anybody else I see yes anybody else yes yes in the back anybody else you just say I need to get right with God yes anybody else got a handful of people that have lifted their hands we're not going to pray the the the regular salvation prayer that we normally pray I want us just to repeat after me the Bible says if you declare with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved
(45:40) you'll be healed you'll be forgiven you'll be made whole you'll you'll experience his peace this morning if you raised your hand I want to invite everybody to pray this prayer with me and if you didn't raise your hand and you still want to get right with God repeat after me dear Lord Jesus I know I am a sinner I believe you died for my sins I ask you to forgive me right now I turn from my life of sin and I open the door of my heart and Life to you I confess Jesus as my personal Lord and
(46:29) Savior thank you for saving me in Jesus name amen and amen can we give God praise for those handful of people listen if you raised your hand we have our ushers that came and they gave you an I decided card what I'd love for you to do is fill that out and when on your exiting Jeff is back there by the I decided table I think John's back there as well but we want want to put this packet in your hand it's a new testament uh for new Believers and then there are some just action steps that you can take
(47:03) right away to get plugged in we have a class on Wednesday nights that meets at 6:30 to help you in your new Journey with Jesus can we give God praise again for all the brave ones that lifted their hands I'm going to ask our prayer ministers to come and I'm going to ask everybody to stand and I don't want you to necessarily wait to be prayed for I want you to first come up and then we'll figure it out because I I feel like there's going to be a response today but listen maybe you are stuck you're stuck at the bigness of the
(47:47) promise because you're looking at forgiveness without a process and God just wants to show you your next step how many know you know that's the most important step The Next Step so you can get broken free listen if you need prayer in this area you are stuck you've been stuck for a while could be 10 20 could be even longer than that but today you just want to get free will you just respond and just come now and just say Pastor Dean I'm stuck I'm stepping out of the aisle and by faith I'm coming
(48:21) forward CU I need to move forward in my life come now don't wait come out don't wait just lift your hands we'll come to you just come Hallelujah can we just sing one chorus as people come yeah be brave come come down listen it's time to move forward Hallelujah sing Holy there is iside up my eyes in Wonder show me who you are and F me with your heart and Me in Your Love To those Hallelujah father I pray for those those
(49:26) Lord Jesus that Lord are trying to forgive God and just can't seen to get there I Pray by the power of your Holy Spirit God that you would move us forward God that you would get us unstuck God that we would get off the hook of bitterness resentment and anger God that you would deal with us so gently but God that you would begin to do heart surgery in Jesus name God I pray that we would walk out free not offended God that we walk in the fullness God of our freedom Lord not in bitterness or resentment Lord I pray these things in
(50:15) Jesus name and everybody said listen if you hey everybody I want to take a moment again and say thank you for joining us real life Church's mission is to engage real life Embrace real people and encounter the real God we want you to know that you are a part of that mission we also want to make sure that you know about the best way to keep in the know about all things real life church and that is through our church Center app through this app you can give check out groups look at our events and even update your profile information
(50:48) we'd also like to take a moment and thank all of our generous givers through your gift we are able to make a difference for God's Kingdom in in our community and Beyond there are a couple different ways that you can give virtually through our church Center app via our website at RLC sac.com or text to give text the word give and the amount to 84321 and also don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can stay up todate and encouraged with the latest message we'd also love to connect with
(51:18) you on our other social media channels where we share everything real life so see you next time